On Tuesday, I received what looked like an Express Mail or maybe a DHL/UPS/FedEx envelope. On the front was a large Eagle head and the words “Rush Priority Express.” It looked important. On the back was the tell-tail indicia “PRSRT STD U.S. Postage PAID”. But I wasn’t sure because next to my name, the envelope screamed, “EXPRESS DOCUMENT ENCLOSED. Posting No.: 2433 1851 368.” These posting numbers made this piece seem really important and personal… until I saw two more of these envelopes addressed to others in the office with the same “Posting No.”.

It must be important. It came from DME-America’s Priority Envelope Company. The copy said, “DME provides fast and efficient direct mail communication via the United States Postal Service, providing important delivered messages intended for various commercial use.” Now, I’m concluding this is a Rush Priority Express (albeit PRSRT STD postage) mailing for DME envelopes. Wrong again! Inside was a packet of materials from the Student Marketing group, Inc. It gets worse. Scanning the packet, I found a series of testimonial pages. One was from 2005; the rest dated back to 1997. It’s scary that they have no current testimonials. None!

And, the cover letter began with “Dear Colleague, Happy New Year! We hope you had an enjoyable Holiday and that 2008 will be your best year ever.” I got this on February 12th, 43 days into the New Year. Either DME’s claim of speedy delivery isn’t too good or the Student Marketing Group was a little late in sending this mailing.

That was Tuesday. On Wednesday, I received an e-mail from RegNow, A Digital River Company. The subject line was “40% Off Backup and Synchronization Software.” The body of the e-mail began “Dear Valued Customer, We have partnered with 2BrightSparks to bring you a special 40% Discount bundle offer on SyncBackSE and OnClick Utilities. This is a limited time offer so act today.” This would be fine except I AM NOT A VALUED CUSTOMER. I’m not even a customer. I have never heard of RegNow. No one in our IT department had heard of RegNow. We are intimately familiar with Digital River as they are a local success story in the Twin Cities.

Thursday, Valentine’s Day, was a special day not to be missed by any enterprising marketer. I expected one of you fantastic readers to send me an e-Valentine, but instead I got an e-mail from Todd Matises with the subject line “Happy Valentine’s Day from Todd.” The body copy began “FALL IN LOVE AGAIN… It takes more than lace and ribbons and lovely verses to make a Valentine that’s nice enough from you, Bart! It takes a world of special little extras tucked into every job that we do for you and that’s exactly what you’ll find inside this Valentine. Let us show you the path to happiness, peace and serenity, giving you a way to fall in love with your Direct Mail Service Bureau!” Todd likes exclamation points and underlining. By the way, I don’t know Todd or his company.

The Marketing Implications

Memorize one simple and basic marketing fact. Your prospects and your customers are smarter than you are. You can’t fool them. You might confuse them but you can’t fool them. This is true for B2C and B2B marketers.

Prospect marketing is the most difficult marketing challenge that faces every company. How can I get YOU to buy from ME? Actually, that’s the easy part. The real challenge is getting past the gatekeepers and past the delete key.

This week’s AH-ha! focuses on three keys for prospecting:

1. Your creative must be more than compelling copy and attention getting graphics. It must be honest and it must be relevant. That means you must do your homework carefully. It means if you cheat, you will be caught and your chance to make a sale will drop to zero.
   
   
2. Your marketing objectives have to mirror the needs and wants of your prospects. Usually, a lack of preparation and understanding of the marketplace result in a disconnect between what you are selling and what the prospect you are contacting really wants and needs.
   
   
3. Use the right media to deliver your message. My opinion is that e-mail, texting and sneaking into social networks are paths that will lead to failure. Of course, they are inexpensive compared to print and direct mail. However, more times than not, you look like a spammer. Even worse, the negative word of mouth exchanges that may follow can cause long-term damage to your prospecting efforts.
   
   

Have a wonderful week.

And from Ann Arbor, Bob Elgin wrote: "You hit the nail on the head. Anybody who disturbs me during a Michigan game in any sport is asking for retaliation, which is to forget them forever. However, I need to keep my cell phone ready for your call."